Monday, April 26, 2010

Dealing With Mommy Guilt

"I do not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how I know that I belong to the truth, and how I set my heart at rest in his presence whenever my heart condemns me. For God is greater than my heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:18-20 (NIV)

I am trying so hard to meditate on this verse right now. To make it mine and take it in and believe its truth.

Being a mother is very hard sometimes. Today just kind of seemed like a wave of emotions of guilt were hitting me all at once.

Questions ramble through my head:

Am I good enough?
Did I go to far?
Am I not doing enough?
Am I messing up my child?
Am I giving her enough time to be a kid?
Why can't I just stay calm?
Why did I yell?
Do they love me?
Am I too strict?
Am I too lenient?
Am I as good as that mom?

Uggghhhh! Why do I let this sneak into my day and ruin what time I have left with my kids before its bedtime??

I stumble upon another verse that I need to ingest and make it mine.

"I am overcome with joy because of God's unfailing love, for He has seen my troubles, and He cares about the anguish of my soul." Psalm 31:7 (NLT)

Feeling this way is all too caustic and toxic to my life. My stomach is upset and I feel horrible, but I know tomorrow is another day. As I start to thumb through my book, this page opens up to this verse without any intention.

"I will listen closely to God's words. I will not let them out of my sight-I will keep them within my heart; for they are life to all who find them and health for the whole body." Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)
We stumble in life. Sometimes we feel like we stumble alot! But times like this, I know God's love is the hand helping me up when I stumble.
I love you, Abbi, Shane, Brady and Cullen and tomorrow will be a better day.


Lindsey said...

Shelley- Thanks for keeping it real. I have so many days like this too! With so many little ones and so much to do I often find myself wondering at the end of the day if I did anything other than yell at or scold my children. A couple of months ago I bought myself a wooden sign that says "Blessed" and put it in my kitchen window over the sink. Any time that things get a little hairy around here I can look up and be reminded that these little mess-making, mis-behaving, fighting with each other, beautiful children are a BLESSING from God and I am BLESSED to be their mother. Wishing you a wonderful day tomorrow!

Cinnamon said...

What mama doesn't think those thoughts? Sometimes daily :-0

My husband likes to remind me that they are growing and have not yet "arrived" hee hee just like "US" - ouch! Why is he always right?

Hugs sweet friend~ I hope you are doing better today~

Oh and I don't have any secrets about my banana bread but I will post my recipe....soon.


Mountain Mama said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. I think all moms have these thoughts. Take them captive - IMMEDIATELY! They are lies. It is what Satan wants you to believe. Obviously, easier said than done. Hang in there!

We all make mistakes. God's mercies are new every morning.

Sherrie Deaton said...

Just found your blog and am really enjoying reading your posts. What a lovely family you have. God Bless!

LLJ said...

Hi Shelley,
I too have been having such a time.
((((hugs))) to you!
& I love the verses you shared!

Shelley said...

Thank you all for the words of encouragement!! It has really uplifted me. Thank you.
Shelley :)