"I do not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how I know that I belong to the truth, and how I set my heart at rest in his presence whenever my heart condemns me. For God is greater than my heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:18-20 (NIV)
I am trying so hard to meditate on this verse right now. To make it mine and take it in and believe its truth.
Being a mother is very hard sometimes. Today just kind of seemed like a wave of emotions of guilt were hitting me all at once.
Questions ramble through my head:
Am I good enough?
Did I go to far?
Am I not doing enough?
Am I messing up my child?
Am I giving her enough time to be a kid?
Why can't I just stay calm?
Why did I yell?
Do they love me?
Am I too strict?
Am I too lenient?
Am I as good as that mom?
Uggghhhh! Why do I let this sneak into my day and ruin what time I have left with my kids before its bedtime??
I stumble upon another verse that I need to ingest and make it mine.
"I am overcome with joy because of God's unfailing love, for He has seen my troubles, and He cares about the anguish of my soul." Psalm 31:7 (NLT)
Feeling this way is all too caustic and toxic to my life. My stomach is upset and I feel horrible, but I know tomorrow is another day. As I start to thumb through my book, this page opens up to this verse without any intention.
"I will listen closely to God's words. I will not let them out of my sight-I will keep them within my heart; for they are life to all who find them and health for the whole body." Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)
We stumble in life. Sometimes we feel like we stumble alot! But times like this, I know God's love is the hand helping me up when I stumble.
I love you, Abbi, Shane, Brady and Cullen and tomorrow will be a better day.